Updates

We heard from the agency today that they are in possession of a fully completed, stamped and certified court decree approving us as parents to Nicholas James Wolfe...YIPPEEE!!!

What we also heard, unfortunately, is that due to two separate holidays coming up in May, we will not be able to return to do the final check-up and embassy visit until May 18 - a week later than we had hoped. Seems we keep getting caught in the bad timing trap.

Whatever. I've made plane reservations to head out the evening of the 18th, with my sister Florence - a truly wonderful woman who will help keep me going and keep Nicholas fed and clothed! We are scheduled to arrive early on Sunday, May 20th. At some point that day I'll actually get custody of Little Man.

Early Monday morning we'll go to the western medical clinic. All test results should be ready the following morning, enabling us to go to the US Embassy to obtain the all-important Super Secret Sealed Envelope required for entry into the states, which is to take place the following day.

So, if all goes according to the current plan, the three of us will arrive in Boston at rush hour on Wednesday, May 23.

Think positive thoughts!

Country Roads, Take Me Home

Well, it might be planes, rather than country roads, but you get the picture. We leave in an hour for our last visit with Nicholas, then off to the airport. We've been doing some thinking, and wanted to share a few wishes with you:

What we miss and want when we get home:

• Family & Friends
• Fresh vegetables (Mom, did you ever expect me to say that?)
• Colorless, odorless water
• Ice in our drinks, not on our sidewalks
• Lactose free milk
• Cottage cheese
• Having some clue what the people around us are saying
• Stooping (unaccompanied by Babushkas and Dyedushkas)
• NPR & DSL
• The city sound of fire engines
• Starbucks Grande Vanilla Lattes
• Drinks at The Palm, where we can trade Nicholas photos for Phil’s wedding pix.
• The entire skyline of Boston from our roof deck
• Boston Drivers…never thought we’d miss them!
• TV in English – it might be 100 channels of drek, but at least we’ll understand it, and the shows start at regular times, not randomly

What we will miss when we leave here.

(kind of trumps everything else)

It's Official (?)

We had court this morning, and the judge (a formidable woman with what appears to be a good sense of humor) gave us provisional approval as parents to Nicholas. There's some paperwork to be competed in the next 15 days (the standard appeals process), but we are assured it's fairly routine. Forgot to get a picture at court - we're a little fried at this point!


Then off to see the kiddo. Again, we were in the sleeping room and, given temps, layers and stress, all three of us were pretty mellow. Nicholas got his fix of Cheerios and another go at the sippy cup; we got our fix of Nicholas (if not our fill).









We're about to start packing. We leave Kostanai tomorrow afternoon, directly after our last visit with little man. We'll spend a night in a nice hotel in Almaty, then fly home via Amsterdam on Friday. Will give a recap when we're home and human. Love you all.

It's all a matter of Degree(s)

I can't remember if we've covered how temperature plays a role in the lives of people in Kazakhstan. If so, too bad - just look at the pictures!

In general, anything cold is to be avoided.

• Open windows - Nyet
• Single layers of clothing - Nyet
• Fresh air - Nyet
• Drinks kept in the fridge - Nyet (we were out to dinner last night and the waiter asked if it was ok that our Coke and Sprite were cold - um, yes please)
  

We have probably mentioned that the rooms in the baby house tend to be a bit warm. On a number of occasions, they move into the downright hot range. For example, the playroom was at about 80 yesterday, and all the windows were closed, as usual. Cross-ventilation is anathema, and doors are always kept closed on rooms being aired out, to prevent any cold air (or refreshingly cool air?) from give the kids a chill. How this would be possible when the kids are in 2-3 layers at all times, including multiple pairs of socks, is beyond us. So that's your background for our visit today.

We arrived a bit early, as we wanted decent play time before taking Nicholas to get his passport photos taken. As usual, we took off our jackets (light ones, as it's 50 out, and keep that in mind), and headed in to play with the boy. He was wearing two of the outfits we bought for him - at the same time. The first layer (aside from diapers) was a fleecy type of sleeper. Over that he had on his blue and white Bear outfit - also fleecy. Then he had terry socks on - over the footie part of the jammies. It was about 78 degrees in the play room.

We went into the bedroom for our visit, and had a busy but slightyly sleepy boy. He had just finished a huge lunch, so that made sense. But knowing that he would have to be changed into a brighter outfit (for more contrast) for his passport photos, we removed the outer layer. Wow - we had a different boy. First of all, he wasn't like a sausage in casing, so he started really moving. And he wasn't melting, so the sleepiness disappeared.





Have to admit, we did give him some forbidden fruit today...Cheerios. Check out the reaction!






Then it was time to head to the photographers. We got him back into his red and blue track suit that you've all seen, and layerd that with a fleece and fiberfill snowsuit that we bought a few weeks ago. Not a happy camper, but there you go. When we got back into the playroom, our parenting skills were called into question, as we obviously didn't understand how to dress a child for the frigid tundra (um, again, it's 50 out). Off goes the fleece, and on goes the snowsuit rated for a blizzard in mid-winter in Antarctica.


Interestingly, Nicholas didn't have any visible negative reaction to being out in the car, as some kids do. He was definitely nervous, but the combo of being over-heated and the movement of the car sent him to la la land very quickly. Got to the photo place, pix got taken, and we took him back.

One more day down.

A Man on the Move

Today was a very busy day at Dolphin House. We were back in the main room, which was good, since Nicholas was interested in keeping an eye on us, but while doing his own thing. So we were able to help out the care-givers by keeping the other kids occupied.

Jim was enjoying getting his hair tugged by one little girl, until she head-butted him. Check out the care-giver's reaction!







Nicholas has become quite the speedy demon crawler. Just when you think you've got the shot set up, this happens:






There was also some time spent in the ball pool again. As his balance and grasping skills have gotten better, this has become a more favored place to play. Today, he started kicking, grinning and huffling as we got closer!







Then he realized that one of his girlfriends was there.
Hey Guys, she's MY friend!







We got one more family picture, then it was time to leave for the day. Making progress with the boy is such a good thing!

Sippy Cups are GRRREAT

Today was a bittersweet one. We had a great visit with Nicholas (more on that later), but it was preceeded by the departure of Robertson & Michele. We know that getting to know them and having their company while here has made this trip richer for us. Fortunately, they live not too far from one of Nicholas' sets of grandparents, so we plan to see them over the coming years. Nicholas and Morgan will be able to continue to be companions, sharing their heritage and their time in The Sun room at Dolphin House. To R&M - Best wishes on a safe journey home, and thanks! Oh, and Morgan says "ba ba ba ba ba ba sa sa"

Now to the title of today's post. In the past we've told you that the kids here drink from cups or shot glasses (milk or juice only!). So today was a first for Nicholas - a sippy cup. At first he was quite perplexed. Where's the goods? But being the brilliant child he is, he caught on very quickly. Check out this series of pictures, taken in order:



















Then we had some play-time with Daddy. For a change, he wasn't all sleepy at the end of our visit. In fact, he was still going strong when we left. He either slept well last night, or had a long morning nap. Either that, or the worst of his cold is over. He was less congested, so maybe that was it. Hopefully tomorrow will be more of the same, and since we've swapped out the batteries that sacked out on us mid-visit, we'll have more pictures for you all!

The Soundtrack of Our Trip

There seems to be a short list of songs in very heavy rotation here. The constant is a heavy disco beat and a candy-pop sound. What we’ve been hearing over and over (and over, and over) on MTV:

• Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape
  
• Mika - Relax, Take it Easy, which sounds light and fluffy, but the lyrics are kind of dark
• Madonna - Caught Up
• Something that sounds like Ya, Ma Ya, Ma Ya, Ma Ya from a Russian boy-band
• A song that goes “Malinki, Malinki,” which translates to “little, little”…???
• Anything from the PussyCat Dolls (I think this is more about the visuals than the “talent.”)
• Beyonce & Shakira

Oh, for some National Public Radio!

By the way, spring has officially arrived in Kostanai. People are not wearing hats for about the first time since we arrived; the streets have all been swept; all winter detritus has been removed from the curbs, sidewalks and planting beds, and Easter cakes are being carried about. We read about the bad weather in New Hampshire and Maine…I think we’ve actually had better weather here! While it was very cold when we arrived, there has been no precipitation to speak of. This is a grain-producing region, but we’re not sure where their precipitation comes from!

Today's visit was good. We were in the sleeping room again - fewer distractions. Nicholas has certainly gotten his parents well trained. We now do the following on cue:

• get a pacifier
• pick him up
• help him not fall when he pulls himself upright
• look as if we understand when he says "ba ba ba ba ba sa sa"

The milestone for today was his actually sitting and 'listening' to his first full book. The winner was the book "Way out in the Desert" which came from Barbara. Many thanks for being part of that event!

Sorry for the lack of pix - we only got one good one of little man. On the way out, we captured the guard dogs (sabaki) hard at work, and then the sign at the gate of the Dolphin Baby House.

We met Mr. Cranky Pants Today

Yup - the honeymoon's over, and Mr. Cranky Pants made an appearance today. We believe he has a head cold with a bit of chest conjestion, so that could be part of it. Another part may be that he was in 3 layers of clothing (a cotton onesie, terrycloth overalls and velour track suit) in a room that felt about 75 degrees...maybe that's why the little man had prickly heat!

We survived, and so did he. The nanny wasn't thrilled when we let him fall asleep before afternoon snack (warm milk with pieces of bread in it). However, as soon as he smelled it, he perked right up, chowed down and then went right back to sleep. Please note that he is a remarkably advanced 10 month old, who is drinking from a cup - drippy, but it kind of works. I think we'll be using sippy-cups at home.

So, the photos today are from over the past week or so. He was in no mood today, and the only good shots we got contained some of his pals, but not ones who have families, so it isn't permitted to post them.

We, however, have moods significantly improved from yesterday. Today was our pre-court, and we have a court date which should allow us to depart as scheduled. More details on that when things are complete.

Take care, and the newspaper crew need to check their e-mails.

Questions and Answers

Nothing fancy today - in fact, few pix. They're just randomly placed with the text - no connection.

A number of people have asked us questions on the blog, and we’d like to try and answer them. In no particular order, here we go:

Why would Nan’s hair smell like vinegar?

Well, the water here has some unusual scents and minerals, some of which tend to remain after the shower. This can make your skin and scalp sort of itchy, and can make your hair feel like straw. A very dilute mixture of white vinegar and bottled water, used as a final rinse, can help that tremendously, but you are left smelling a bit like a salad.

Why did we have on do-rags in the pix of us feeding Nicholas?

Short answer: because we were told to; longer answer: it’s probably to keep hair out of the food. The baby house cares for over 90 children. They have some very specific protocols to follow in order to help them stay as healthy as possible. We also have noticed that if a pacifier drops on the floor, it is immediately whisked off to the sterilization room – no kissing it up to God. However, if a chew-toy hits the floor, it just goes back to the hand it came from.

What is food shopping like?

This depends on which store we go to. Within easy walking distance are two western style supermarkets – much smaller than ours, but still well stocked. For those of you in the South End, one is about the size of Foodies; the other half that. Among the familiar brands we’ve seen are Coke, Sprite, Gillette, Nice & Easy, Dove, Nivea, Corona, Dannon, Heineken, Twix, KitKat, Pampers and Rubbermaid. American consumer products are well represented here! Beyond that, and as at home, many packages have labels which are unambiguous about their contents (canned veggies, rice and pasta fall into this category). However, it’s very helpful to learn the Cyrillic alphabet and the words for common food items – for example, chicken filets are in a package that has opaque wrapping and no picture of a chicken, but the word for filet is basically a straight phonetic match. It’s also important to know the words for milk as differentiated from kefir. The packages are similar (blue vs. green, but same shapes and markings) but kefir is a kind of fermented yogurt – not yummy to our taste buds!

One significant difference between these grocery stores and ours is that these seem determined to help accomplish full employment in Kostanai. There are always at least 2 staffers per aisle. Probably a security measure, but they also ensure that if you take an item off the shelf, all of those behind are immediately pulled forward – so no-one has to reach.

Aside from lactose-free milk, there’s very little we haven’t been able to find. However, since this isn’t a disposable society, some things are in scant supply: disposable razors are thin on the ground; diapers come in packages of no more than 25 – most people use cloth. We haven’t been into an apothecary (drugstore) yet, so can’t comment on supplies there. And it’s almost impossible to find good, fresh vegetables.

What about TV?

Soccer, Animal Planet, and a really lame and over-the-top version of candid camera. At least in Kostanai, there is no English-language television, with the exception of some of the promo pieces for Animal Planet. There are about 40 channels, but only about 10 stations broadcasting, so a run around the dial means repetition. Some other stunners we’ve seen have been Russian versions of Married with Children, a home design show that would make the folks at HGTV cringe. But the news this morning, on the Russian Today show, had a few pieces on preparations for Easter. Most we couldn’t follow, but the bit about painting the eggs was universal! Oh, and then there’s Fashion TV, and their Models Talk segment – kind of a misnomer considering the giggle factor. The word “like” should be banned.

When are we coming home?

Still don’t know. We’re waiting for the judge, who has had our file for a week, to set a court date. “Maybe” is a word one hears a lot…and it isn’t really helpful to the control-freaks of the world who have been away from all that’s familiar for a long time.

If we’ve missed anything, let us know, and we’ll do a part two.

Happy Birthday, Cousin Elizabeth!

I can't quite talk yet, but Mommy & Daddy helped me say Happy Birthday to my cousin Elizabeth. I can't wait to meet her, and the rest of my family.
As usual, we had a good visit with Nicholas today. He was very mellow when we arrived, but he enjoyed play time with Daddy, including reading his favorite book (thanks much to Michelle & Kosar for that winner!).













We only had about 45 minutes of play time before he started to really slow down. All he wanted was to be held and walked around - hmmm, what a hardship. We took this opportunity to bring out the carrier, and he was just fine with it - first with Jim, then with Nan. It's so much easier on the back to carry him that way, and it leaves your hands free - good for when we get home and need to make a quick trip to the store down the block. It's also great for some quiet one-on-one bonding time. He can feel our warmth and heartbeat, and gets to know what we smell like (he now thinks Mommy's hair smells like salads, thanks to the vinegar rinse!).

He let us know when he was done with the carrier, and today it was Daddy's turn to be the sleeping spot. These two pix were taken about 35 seconds apart. Gotta love both of them!










As usual, the visit ended with the little man in bed. Today, he was so out he didn't even twitch when he hit the mattress - so we had to give him a book - maybe it'll sink in while he's sleeping. We can't wait for the day that he sleeps in his own crib, and we're there when he wakes up.

The Politics of Transportation

We’ve mentioned the parking situation here, but didn’t go into anything about how the police, the populace, and their vehicles interact. There seems to be a very well manned police department in Kostanai (not that we want to find out up close and personal). As I write this, 9 am on a Tuesday morning, there is a police car parked outside our building. The two cops (always pairs that we can see) are standing beside their car watching passing traffic. Every so often, they wave large white billy sticks at a particular car, and the driver immediately pulls over, always using their turn signal (Boston drivers take note). I’m not sure what the infraction is, but it’s unlikely to be speeding as we haven’t noticed that at all. In any event, the driver exits the car, and presents the cop with some paperwork. Whether this is a driver’s license, vehicle registration or what, we don’t know. We also can’t tell if any tickets are issued, and then the driver is on his way.

On other occasions, traffic on our street is completely closed, to allow the unimpeded movement of what appear to be VIPs. When this happens, all parked cars must be moved, and all vehicular traffic is stopped for blocks. Everyone is very cooperative, and the delays to normal traffic appear to be minimal.

We went for a walk this morning – over to the main plaza, up by the University, and back through the park. It’s definitely coming up spring…the flower beds are losing their snow cover, and one can see where they are usually full of plants. We couldn’t determine what kind, but it looked as if something with fairly woody stalks had been cut back in the fall. Unfortunately, we won’t be here to see what actually blooms – or if we are, we’ll be in no shape to tell you about it!

Our visit with the little man today was great. We were in the sleeping room by ourselves, rather than in the play room with the other kids and caregivers. This was a first, but without the distractions, it was a really fun visit. Jim got Nicholas laughing out loud, and we have it on video – will show you later when we have more band width to upload. Anyway, Nicholas and Jim were face to face on the floor when Nicholas sneezed. Jim followed with one of his own, and Nicholas lost it. Of course, being the well trained rats (um, parents?) that we are, Jim obliged again and again…anything to get the little man to laugh!

He started to get a little antsy (our toys are apparently old news), so Nan grabbed the first thing at hand – one of Morgan’s toys – an inflated roller/drum thingie with bells inside. Wow – we’ll have to see if we can find one of these at home.

As usual, things ended with Nicholas in his crib - #6, (the one behind Jim in the other picture).

When we got home, Nan went to get a nail color change – for a grand total of $1.25. Meanwhile, Jim captured the afternoon action on our street, left, then right.

This evening we’re off to a nice dinner with Michele & Robertson, who have good reason to celebrate. Go over to their blog http://findingmorganadams.blogspot.com/

ET, Phone Home

No post yesterday – we were just kind of fried. Three weeks in, with two to go can start to wear on your nerves. Even Boston would be boring to a tourist after a while, and probably more so if you can’t read the menus, newspapers and road signs and don’t understand anyone. OK, so the description by others of this trip as being like the movie Groundhog Day is accurate. You begin to lose track of days of the week, and every day blurs into the previous and the next. Even the television falls into the groundhog syndrome. There are 50 operable channels, but only about 10 unique stations – the others are all duplicates. The Discovery Channel and Animal Planet are good, since we can usually follow along even without understanding the voice-over, and their commercials are in english. Oh for an English-language channel!

In the morning, we went to sign on to the internet as we always do with our tea & coffee. We were a bit surprised, however, to find that our brand-new 5,000 Tenge card was inoperable, despite having plenty of credit left on it as of the previous evening. We first thought it was an April Fool’s joke by the telecom folks. No, the card still wasn’t working a bit later. However, a card that had run out days before was now up and running again. We aren’t sure what’s up, but as long as we have access, we’ll take it!

Yesterday’s visit with Nicholas went well. We brought in an inflatable beach ball which he just loved. It was big enough for him to roll on, but also small enough for him to play with. We left it just slightly under-inflated (don’t worry – I said just slightly). This allowed him to squeeze it enough to get a grip (working on fine motor skills here) and swing it around. Happy chortles ensued.

He also showed us that he will really be a perfect fit in the extended Wolfe-Dugan clan. The boy loves nothing more than to flake out with a book. We’ll give him a little latitude right now for reading it upside down – the bottom was just a bit more yummy!

We spent some time getting him used to the baby carrier. He really wasn’t too sure about that, but mommy wants him to accept it so that trekking him about in airports and airplanes will (maybe) be a bit easier in May. A little bit every day…maybe he’ll be ok with it by the time we leave, and won’t torture Aunt Florence too much J

After the baby house, we headed over to the Philharmonic Hall to see the finals of a regional children’s talent contest, and to meet the other Americans in town. Unfortunately, when we arrived, it was sold out, and we couldn’t even get standing room seats. So off to the bazaar – a different one this time. We were looking for some slightly lighter weight jackets – it really is spring here, and down is too heavy sometimes. The search will continue, however. Jim didn’t find anything, and the leather jacket Nan really liked wasn’t available in her size. Oh well. And Maureen – no fabric seen that wasn’t of the decorating or dress variety – very shiny and flowers the size of an extended hand! The funny part of the bazaar visit was the fact that Zhanat kept telling us to zip up our jackets so we wouldn’t get cold. I think it was to keep us from looking too out of place- as if we would blend better with zipped up jackets!

Observation of the day today: Kostanai is a remarkably tidy city. Despite the fact that we haven’t seen any trash containers aside from those behind our apartment (which are emptied every 2-3 days), there is NO trash on the streets or sidewalks. This could be in part due to the fact that there aren’t Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks shops everywhere, providing ready trash. It could also be that people here have a great deal pride in their city, and want to ensure it looks its best. Something for most American cities and residents to think about.

The one thing we’re not loving today, however, is the fact that while we seem to have a more than adequate supply of hot water, there is no, repeat no, cold water. We all know that cold showers aren’t that easy to deal with. They can, however, be tolerated. It’s just not possible to take a shower in scalding hot water. Grrrrrrr. Hope it comes back so that we can have clean dishes at dinner-time. At least we have enough bottled water to wash our faces and brush our teeth!

Nicholas didn’t seem to mind our stale-ness when we visited today. He was in a good mood, and actually waved to us when we came into the room. It’s the little things.

We spent some time playing with Miss Morgan today – not cooperating, more like observing and tolerating each other. They both had fun with the balls from the ball pit, then Nicholas decided to make a break for it, straight for the camera.

Can’t wait to meet my family!

After one last round of Daddy-climbing, it was time to eat, and time for Mommy & Daddy to leave the boy in the Sun room (that’s the translation we were given, but if anyone can confirm that, we’d appreciate it – the key word is the one that starts with C).